I'm exhausted...

For me, Monday and Wednesday's are the longest. I don't know if going straight to Shasta after a long day of BSSM makes the difference but I do know by the time 5:30p and BSSM gets out, I am already exhausted. Then home around 9ish from my night classes.

Our days are packed with meeting 1:1 with our small group of girls. My small group is 16 girls. I usually see 2 maybe 3, M-W. I love hearing their stories of what God is doing in their lives, how home life with many roommates are coming along, and what do they want to see God do for them this school year. 

There are laughs and tears, some happy, some sad but so good to see God in the midst of it all. When I came to first year I cried the first six weeks of school and then some. Not only was I homesick, but also God was pouring out just how much He loved me. That was hard for me to grasp. I always learned to show God how much we love Him, but it just wasn't what He had scheduled for me. That revelation of how much He loves me/you, how forgiving, showing His grace is immeasurable. I just love that Man lol. 

Today we had small group leaders training. Technically that is a small group in a small group in a revival group in a large school of ministry. Okay I had to have a little fun with that. lol

Then Jason taught on pain in our intern meeting this afternoon. Enough said on that unless you want me to cry. 

What I learned today is just how tender one's heart can be and how our Daddy picks us up and holds us in His big arms. Knowing we can rest there and be at peace. I can never get enough of that. 

What is your lens telling you?

There is time and then there is “Bethel” time. I heard this when I first came to school and it didn’t take me long to realize what that meant. Very little starts on time at Bethel and I use to get frustrated about it. Being on time meant being reliable, accountable and honoring to the person or event you are scheduled to be at. God has taught me a lot about this and although being punctual is a good thing, it also can be an issue too.

There are times you have to let go of the smaller stuff and see the whole picture. I have been so blessed by Bethel. I have learned to serve and learned to lead in a whole new way. God has honored my faithfulness to those things I have put my hand and my heart to. As the saying goes, don’t sweat the small stuff; it’s just not worth it.

In our intern meeting today Jason was teaching about “rebuilding the lens” and although this could mean many things, today I applied it to seeing what I was receiving from school and not why isn’t this that way or this way. Etc…

What is your lens telling you?

To purposefully set the presence of the day.

                     To Purposefully Set the Presence of the Day

I am learning to take each morning as I wake up and set the day to purposefully be in His presence. You see there is a difference setting the presence of the day. Today was important to set the presence before the day even began.

Meeting some of the revival group girls one on one, then school began. There is always homework to read and enter into the computers, books to be given out and many hugs to fill up anyone’s love tank. All the interns are together today in the Great room. We only get two days where we are all together and have a place of belonging so to speak.

As I sat at the table I felt a sensation come over me. Not one I was comfortable with and I knew where it was coming from. Last year October 17, 2010, I lost two family members to murder/suicide. I recalled last year being one of the hardest days of my life because the last words I had with my stepsister were out of anger. I couldn’t take it back, but I was able to give it to God.  I didn’t know how to get through school because guilt was eating me up.

Today was victory because I purposefully set myself to not live in guilt and regret. To know how God sees me, and where I stand with Him. So when a friend wrapped her arms around me and asked me to ask the Holy Spirit where my stepsister was and how was she doing, I knew all was well, because He said so.

Are there still tears? Of course. But she would tell me to get over it, what’s done is done. She always knew how to live in the moment.

Thank you Father for always knowing what I need.  Today was a good day!

First Year BSSM Internship...10/16/11

October 16^th, 2011

First Year Bethel School of the Supernatural Ministry Internship

Wow that is a mouthful! This is how it feels also on a daily basis. The first month I was so excited but it didn’t take long for me to feel overwhelmed. I am learning a lot through this experience so I decided since I feel the nudging of Christ to blog more, okay maybe not nudging, actually right out telling me He wants me to write more, then I shall do so.

I am very critical of my writing but this is a time of being vulnerable and honest about how I feel, my fears, my successes, my failures, what I am learning and how I am growing as an intern for Revival Group Pastor Marlene Aaronson.

I have said before I was going to write on a regular basis so as the saying goes, “try, try, try again” goes, here we go again.  I hope you follow and I would love your feedback. Maybe I will have more than 2 followers by the time this is done. My goal is to write daily till the end of school, May 2012.

 ibssm.org

Sears, Me and God

Waiting at Sears to get my oil changed. A lady is obviously upset and crying on the phone. It was hard to not hear what she was saying. She hung up and out of know where I asked her could I share something with her? Now you have to know that I just re-learned this week about trying to fix things that don't belong to me, so I couldnt believe I opened my mouth so quickly. 

She agreed and I talked with her briefly about taking on things that aren't her responsiblity and trying to fix someone who's not willing to work on it themselves. Do you see where I am going with this? Well she was really thankful but I wasn't expecting the next queston. Tell me, where did you go to find this out? My spiritual answer? TheTransformation Center. Yep thats what I told her. So I gave her the number and invited her to the "I am Woman" class at Bethel on Tuesday nights. She took the information and I gave her a hug while she cried. She knew God had jsut met a need.  God is so good and if you know me, you know this is a testimony b/c I didnt try to fix her I just gave her the info and some loving.  

Don't Pass up the Opportunities

Have you ever put off or passed on the opportunity to speak of God into someone's life? Most of us have out of fear of what are they going to think, what if I am making the wrong assumption, etc..

Because I was in a hospital today that doesn’t allow you to "impose" your beliefs on your patients, God had another idea. I only had one patient and it was definitely God appointed. This patient was at the end stages of colon cancer and she just recently found out so she is going through a grieving process, her and her family. 

All day she was one on one, staying on top of pain medications and being at her side while she was sick. By the end of my shift she was pretty much sedated but my heart was unsettled because from all appearances she was not saved. How could I leave her without giving her a chance to accept Christ? I had prayed over her all day for healing, for peace and for salvation. I talked earlier with her grandmother about healing and told her I had seen healing and I believed it could happen for her granddaughter. She agreed, for she had witnessed a miracle in her own life before.

I made one last stop before leaving for the night. She was not alert but I had to say something, so I told her she didn’t have to fear death because there was life after life. I shared with her briefly about having a relationship with Christ and all she had to do was to ask Him to come into her life. As I waited by her side for another minute, she suddenly squeezed my hand. I knew she had heard me. 

Thank you Lord for allowing me to be your vessel, to show Your love, mercy and grace. 

New Mexico Minsitry trip 2011

Albuquerque New Mexico Feb/March 2011

This ministry trip was definitely full of laughter and joy. Matter of fact I don’t think I have ever laughed this hard or this long at one time. This trip was about Culture of Honor with Danny and Sheri Silk (lovingonpurpose.com)

We taught middle school aged kids how to prophesy. After practicing on one another they went into the congregation and prophesied over individuals they felt God was highlighting to them. The adults loved it and in the process family wounds were also mended.

Many were prophesied over and prayed for. Physical and emotional pain was healed. God loves each one of us unconditionally. May you experience the fullness of God’s grace and His love for you.

Our host homes treated us with authentic “New Mexico” style food and we spent our free time connecting and prophesying over one another.  We laughed so hard, on more than one occasion, while ministering to one another.  Each time someone would get close to us, or out “circle” of ministry they too would be affected and begin to laugh uncontrollably.

We learned what honor looks like at any age and in any relationship. Something I learned in this conference is, sometimes we lose sight of what honor looks like because of familiarity, especially with family. Having boundaries with someone doesn’t mean you don’t honor them or respect them.  

To end this I faced one of my fears, heights. I never had an issue with heights until I did a rescue years ago from a high-rise construction sight. We had to bring the guy down in a Fireman’s basket. The Fireman told me right off, “don’t look down” and it was the first thing I did automatically. I became light-headed and since then have had a fear of really high heights.  So I got on the longest tram in the world, Sandia Peak.  Looking over the edge of the mountain was beautiful.

Ministry Trip from Columbus, Ohio February 2011

Columbus OH Ministry Trip February 2011

Last week I went on a ministry trip to Columbus, OH for the “Hem of His Garment” Conference with Chris Gore and Joaquin Evans. This time will always be remembered for its miracles and the people I met along the way.

First I wanted to share with you, on the way to the airport from Redding I was talking with Audrey Delong (BSSM student) and we talked about the healing rooms at Bethel and other areas. I then mentioned to her I had been there for prayer many times but up to this point had not experienced healing. Several years ago I was told I had Fibromyalgia, something that resulted from a surgery I had a couple of years prior. She then to ask if she could pray for me and I said sure and she then proceeded to lay her hand on my left shoulder and as she did, suddenly a white owl flew right toward the passenger window. I only saw it from the side but Audrey saw if fly directly toward us and then saw a hawk behind it. She didn’t even really pray but she did tell me “it’s coming! It’s coming!

As the day continued on I didn’t notice a difference nor did I pay much attention to it either. The next morning I woke up and I felt good. I had no pain whatsoever. I realized it right off because I never wake up pain free. I was so excited I jumped up and walked around testing things out. No pain!! I was happy as a pig in slop.  Since then I have had my moments of being tested but I also hear God’s voice speaking.  Now 10 days later I still stand in that healing and I pass on this testimony to all those who need healing in their bodies. It’s yours!

Throughout the conference we prayed for many, gave words of knowledge for healing, and released freedom to all.  Listed below are ways God showed up and displayed His power and His love.

Scoliosis healed

Migraines healed

Legs grew out

Allergies healed

Back pain gone, disk pain gone

Neck pain gone

People able to move and bend after metal rods placed in their bodies.

Cysts disappeared

Healing of tooth pain

Sense of smell returned to many

Hearing restored

Chronic pain gone

Hope restored

The first day of the conference I met someone who immediately touched my heart, Ellen.  Ellen was lying in the back, unable to move much. I was told she had stage 4 cancer and this was her 3^rd bout with cancer. She was unable to walk or feel anything from her waist down. Many prayed for healing, interceded on her behalf and loved on her. At one point she was moving one of her big toes, at times she would feel tingling like “electricity” in her arms which were encouraging signs. Ellen stated she returned home not understanding why she didn’t see more, experience full healing. I don’t know either but I do know the importance of not getting offensive with God. Saturday I took my laptop and Ellen via Skype to the healing rooms and she received the Holy Spirit, she felt peace and some joy. Lord I pray for more for Ellen. I love how the Holy Spirit connects you with others, to stand with you when times are hard and intercede on your behalf. I continue to pray for full healing of her body. God is in control.

Don’t ever give up for your miracle; it may come when you least expect it.

Blessings! Tricia

It's not what it always appears to be...

Recently I had a conversation with a family member about how it looks like I don’t know what I am doing and how I have gone from one idea or thought to another. At first I felt a bit hurt but then I realized a word the Lord gave me @3yrs ago and this is what I heard;

"I will transition you from place to place and it will look to others that you don’t know what you want or what you are doing, but know that I am ordering your footsteps and you are walking in obedience to Me".

In 2003 I began a non-profit organization called Grace and Body Connection. A few years later it diminished to where I was only counseling a hand full of people out of my home. When I left to come out to California, to come to Bethel, I pretty much just let it sit until I could decide what to do with it.

The end of 2010 the IRS basically was saying that it needed to be closed out since there has been no activity. I was about to file the paperwork and I got a call from a friend, she had just returned from Haiti and has also been in Africa this year doing missions most of the year. The Lord put a ministry on her heart and she called to tell me about it and asking me to pray about being a board member. It immediately came to mind about GBC and after talking a bit we came to the conclusion she should take over GBC and rename it "His Hands Ministry".  Within 48 hours, she had the amendment typed up, funding was offered and I agreed to be a board member in addition to part of "His Hands" ministry would be a disaster response ministry that would help support efforts like going to Haiti and places around the world to disaster/medical response (medical missions). 

This is only a part of what has happened in my life. To some it may look like I began a non-profit and then just dropped the ball with it. I see it as laying the groundwork for something even better. And what did God tell me when I asked Him why did I go through founding and being an owner of a non-profit? He said, "because you needed to know these things for what I have called you to do". 

One more example. Years ago I went to Haiti. I only went out of obedience. I didn’t particularly care about going but that was out of fear. I had never been out of the US and barely out of NC. Returning, I left Haiti very sick, almost didn’t get on the plane to return home. When I saw the US Flags waving back and forth instantly all the pain and sickness left me. I told myself I never would return to Haiti again. (ha-ha), but because I went a seed was planted. Last year, 2010,  I was asked to go to Haiti with Bethel and TDA, for Disaster Response. The key to going on the team was that I had been before and I was a nurse. I was the last person added to the disaster team. I knew it was God and I knew the key came from years ago. 

I know I have dreams, I know I have responsibilities, I know I put my trust in Him that He will lead me and as Kris Vallotton put its "when I am through living, I'm outta here".

Bless you. Tricia 

Stretching Me

Today I managed to get through my preaching project. According to my evals from my peers and revival group pastor I did pretty well. I practiced and practiced, none which went as well as I wanted it too. I thought of all the times I have taught groups on the mental health unit, groups and day program for Grace and Body Connection., then speaking at different venues but this was different. The evaluation page was detailed, the guidelines of what had to be included to get high marks touched on some insecurtities I had.

I taught on declaring the promises of God. Something in which God has been speaking to me about lately. I up and down that mountain, when honestly it should be rather consistent. So recently, before my feet hit the ground, I set the tone for the day by declaring hope, promises, and dreams for me, my kids, and friends. Obviously I would never get out of bed if it was extensive but I just touch on the obvious.

This year I am learning a lot about not being moved by how I feel, to be streched during hard times and to seek joy through it all. I am only human; I dont always get it right but I strive to be the best I can be and that is all God ask of us.

Jeremiah 29:11
Bless you, Tricia

Back in school (BSSM)

January 10, 2011

This past week in school all was so glad to get back to school and see one another. Many testimonies and stories shared with one another.

We had an amazing time in worship last Thursday. The entire atmosphere was full of His glory.

Friday we had a pastor from Australia, Russell Evans. He was very good at keeping us on the edge of our seats; we laughed so hard at his stories. During this time I kept feeling like my hands and my lips were on fire. I put lotion on thinking that would help and then he called up those who had “fire on their lips” to come up, he then imparted “10x the anointing” he had from his life to all those who had fire on their lips. The Holy Spirit was all over me. All I could do was lay there and take in the presence I felt.

For the past couple of weeks on and off I have had fire in my hands. It’s hard to explain but I know its God. It typically leads to an anointing for healing.

I wish I could say I jumped up and prayed for someone but no I sat there thinking about it. I’m learning…lol

Tuesday school back in session and our afternoons will be filled with all the excitement of those ready to do their 2^nd year preaching project. I would like to sit here and tell you how excited I am but that would just be plain lying to you. Lol..Will write more about my experience later this week. Here’s to hoping you had a great weekend and those of you playing in the snow, I’m jealous…not that I want to play in the snow but I sure do miss my fireplace, coffee and a good movie when the weather is bad. Okay maybe a small snowman too…

Bless you…. later

Blogging for 2011

I am not sure what this is going to look like but I will be blogging at least once a week if not more. My committment is weekly so they may be short or long or something shared or whatever...:)
I feel God is challenging me in this way because, 1- many ask me what am I doing out here or what does that look like? 2- I want to share my heart and my thoughts and those things that just come to my mind. We wont talk about how much I talk to myself :). Some will is seeing things from a different view than where I have seen before.
My grammer or spelling may not be up to par but its from my heart. So I know I can do this. I hope you follow me in sharing where I am and whats happening in my life. Also hopefully the creative side of me will be seen some.
Tricia

You're So Special....Thank you

Thank you to all those who have supported me through prayer, financially, and shared your lives with me. 

Attending 2nd yr at Bethel has been different than 1st year in many ways but it has been good. 

I have felt I havent shared as much this year of what I am doing so for 2011 I plan on blogging once a week to share how your help is helping others and what I am doing. 

2010 I have worked in many rural hospitals and have seen some miraculous healings and some have just experienced compassion at the end of their lives, and then there are some who have been a challenge. :)  Through Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry I have worked with the elderly in a retirement home weekly. Listening to their stories, singing along, reading books and mostly just being there. Participated in ministry trips locally sharing God's word and praying for the sick, treasure hunts, prophetic art and worship. We had a Holiday Feast for those less fortunate. All the tables decorated, clothes given away, pictures with Santa, and gifts/toys given out. The smiles told the whole story. 

Personally this has been a hard year for me with being so far away when family events have happened. It is teaching me to know God is bigger than I am and He is able to handle those things I have to put in His hands. I know I am where I'm supposed to be in this season and there is a lot to learn about trusting the Lord with those you love.  God teaches me a lot about obedience vs sacrifice. My heart wants to be where God wants me; doesnt always make it easy though. 

I know my life will never be the same again. God has told me I would see different continents and be in different countries. I will be ministering in different places and at times I will be in the "danger zone". Working in Haiti last year was a challenge but one I loved. Many after shocks, some buildings that had fallen, fall more. Seeing death in a whole new light, and seeing what God can do in the midst of that situation. My heart wants to work in disaster areas. I want to bring nursing to those who are in poor areas and cant get the help they need. I also have a heart for those with  mental illness. How this is going to be combined I do not know. I also have dreams of ministering healing to those all around the world. 

I just wanted to take a moment and share briefly where things stand. I thank you all for your prayers and support. Through you I have been able to make a difference in the lives of others and myself. God says where I go, you go also. Thats is a promise, so if you ever feel you want to be a part of this and you cant physically go, you can go in spirit. 

Blessings for 2011!!!

In Him, Tricia

Inspiration or Insanity of another kind....my 2011 commitment

Well I have been inspired, once again, to try to blog on a regular basis. While I was thinking about this I just happen to watch the movie Julie and Julia, or vice versa, anyway in a moment of insanity I thought that would be so cool. Then I thought how much I have wanted to document my journey more and I thought why not? Really, can it be that hard? Okay maybe I am beginning to sound like the movie but I do have to say it inspired me to write more. And thanks to "Catrific" on you tube and a former Bethel-ite I would have to say that I have also thought, I can do a video, I have done one, last year, well maybe you don't remember but I think I can do a video at least once a month and blog at least once a week, right?

Well I say lets give it a shot. My ideas and thoughts will come from school, how I am changing personally and whatever else comes to mind. It will be interesting to see what comes out of this little head of mine. So there it is, my 2011 challenge. Blog minimum of once a week and a video, 10 mins or less (because I know what you are thinking), once a month.

WoW! I cant wait to see how long this takes me to stop. lol just kidding, I will commit to this, so if I get slack you are more than welcomed to nicely set me straight. :D

Tricia

Thank you 2010

Thank you. 2010 is coming to an end and I want to thank those who have given into my life since being here in school, whether if be financially, through prayer, through love or resources. I truly appreciate each and every one of you. This past year God has done amazing things in my life and with your help I have been able to attend school of ministry, go to Haiti twice to do medical/earthquake relief, I went to Tijuana Mexico and ministered to many who were lost, and have been with Bethel on ministry teams giving prophetic words and art, seeing those healed who were sick, preached and even coca-doodled-do. This doesn’t even cover the things that God is teaching me, speaking to me each day. Outside of the moments I had my children I would have to say I am happiest. I feel so loved by many and my heart just leaps when I hear "Go" and I see the works of God. 

I am alive with Christ! Eph 2:6

At the cost of this, I do miss my family, my kids although they are adults now. I miss the newest addition to my family, Helena. Some days are sentimental, some days I worry about my kids for different reasons, but I know I am where God has called me to be. I don’t know how long I will be in California, but I do know I will never be the same again, nor will my life ever be the same again. 

I have shared some pictures this year of different events and places and I hope to share more of the journey of where God is taking me personally. I am learning to be vulnerable and that says a lot. If there is anything I have learned or I take with me that may help someone else, then it’s worth it. 

"Anyone who receives a prophet because he is a prophet will receive a prophet's reward. And anyone who receive's a righteous man because he is a righteous man will receive a righteous' mans reward." Matthew 10:41

I pray that each and every one of you will receive a "reward" because of what you have invested in me. I so appreciate all you have done. Also to remind you that what you do does not go by the wayside or forgotten. The word promises you a reward and I pray for you to be blessed in abundance. Again thank you so very much. You are always in my thoughts and my prayers. 

In Him, Tricia