Whatever you fear...

"Whatever you fear will ultimately become your master. This is the process of allowing deception to take control of your mind. It all starts by allowing small, cunning lies to creep in undetected. At first, they seem rational a vital contribution to the wellbeing of your personhood. They come cloaked in common sense and take up residence in side of logic and reason. But their deception is deep and destructive. Their words have nothing to do with the Father's heart, for they are only a facade of true light."

"Yet, because we are often oblivious to what is going on inside of us, it can be hard to recognize what is actually driving us."

An excerpt from, The Supernatural Power of Forgiveness by Jason Vallotton
Chapter "He Who Holds the Key", pg 56

This book is a great read, you can get it at Bethel's bookstore (ibethel.org) or Amazon.

Hugs and Lies and Laughter

What an amazing time in Revival Group today following Jason Vallotton's teaching on believing lies the enemy tells you and speaking about what you need from others. 

First Marlene has our group form an inner circle and an outer circle and we hugged each other, giving our best shot at the best hug we could give someone. Then rotate to the next person. Everyone began laughing and sharing with one another. I jumped the line and got double hugs from most everyone. At a total of 70 plus hugs. That’s a lot of love. lol

Next we went around the room telling the lies we have believed and then we just laughed at them. There was such breakthrough and freedom was released through out the room. Lies such as, I'm not beautiful, no would accept the real me, If I don’t do my best then I can't be blessed, I have to do to receive, no one will love me unconditionally, I'm not good enough, and on and on..So many lies and such breakthrough. 

Here are some comments posted from out RG FB page: 

" Really enjoyed laughing at lies today..... amazing how powerful that was. It was fun watching people's faces. We'd share a lie with somber face (and rightfully so, it's intimate), but some crazy guy burst out in obnoxiously loud laughter and everyone joins in.... you can't help but cement how silly/restrictive/destructive/etc. the lies actually were. Before I start preaching.... I love you guys. The End."

"Best revival group meeting so far, no? I'm not going to hide anymore and I'm not going to feed this false alter ego that's been trying to seduce me ever since I got here. I have something to give and I have something to receive!"

*Sigh* I'm so in love with God in the sense that He loves me so much that He placed me with all of you amazing people! Today was life changing to say the least. Having us go hug each other was something profoundly incredible for me and then to laugh at the lies.....Oh Jesus.....what fun! I love you all sooooo much and I can't wait to see what God will do next in our amazing family! :D YAY GOD!!!!!"

"Revival group was so wonderful today... so happy to be here with all you amazing peeps...Love you."

Thank you Lord for such breakthrough! 

Prioritizing

So many thoughts, so many things I want to do. Sometimes I don't know which direction to take and then there are times I get frustrated with myself because I feel I should know better at this point in my life. The realization I need to take better care of myself as far as rest goes. I typically get 4 hours of sleep on average and I know its not good for you. I talked with one of my roommates tonight about prioritizing my life better and also I took Jake Veach's training last year on the "Seven Habits of highly Effective People". 

It tells you about prioritizing what’s important, what needs to be done now and what can wait. Its time to put this into place. Don't laugh, I already did. 

In my mind a lot of things are important but learning to categorize what I can do in this season and do well. The question is what will have to take a back seat? 

My first was to address my health. I want to lose weight but mostly I want to feel better and gain some strength. I deal with chronic pain and I am determined I am not going to let it control my life. Next on the list, what I wanted in relationship with community and personally. I have such amazing relationships and so it is hard when you have to say no I can't do that. I want time for photography and to paint, something I really enjoy. I am also working on an interactive journal I want to see completed this year. 

Well its time to go to bed, but I would love to hear some feedback. What areas are in your life you need to prioritize, do you already have a good system? Feel free to share what works for you. 

Nothing much to do about nothing...

Yes I know I didnt post last night. We had a costume party at Marlene's for our revival group and it was so much fun. We had some very creative people but I think the most creative were the 3 peas in a pod, I will have to post their picture so you can get the full effect. Of course my creativity wasnt stirred at all, I wore my nursing scrubs. Yeah I know, no challenge there. lol But I do have to say they expand with the all the food you eat lol. 


Because I haven't felt well today I am keeping it simple, I really don't want to think much either way. It's beautiful outside on this October day, and I am inside with a sweatshirt on lying in bed. It has given me a chance to catch up on my ibethel.tv and some reading. 


I hope you all are having a beautiful Friday and looking forward to the weekend. I begin my new job on Tuesday and once I get through the orientation phase I do believe I am going to enjoy it. I know I won't have to travel hours again to work unless I choose a shift here and there. I have learned to not burn bridges when it comes to jobs. Always keep your options open and flexible. :)


Bless you!!

I'm exhausted...

For me, Monday and Wednesday's are the longest. I don't know if going straight to Shasta after a long day of BSSM makes the difference but I do know by the time 5:30p and BSSM gets out, I am already exhausted. Then home around 9ish from my night classes.

Our days are packed with meeting 1:1 with our small group of girls. My small group is 16 girls. I usually see 2 maybe 3, M-W. I love hearing their stories of what God is doing in their lives, how home life with many roommates are coming along, and what do they want to see God do for them this school year. 

There are laughs and tears, some happy, some sad but so good to see God in the midst of it all. When I came to first year I cried the first six weeks of school and then some. Not only was I homesick, but also God was pouring out just how much He loved me. That was hard for me to grasp. I always learned to show God how much we love Him, but it just wasn't what He had scheduled for me. That revelation of how much He loves me/you, how forgiving, showing His grace is immeasurable. I just love that Man lol. 

Today we had small group leaders training. Technically that is a small group in a small group in a revival group in a large school of ministry. Okay I had to have a little fun with that. lol

Then Jason taught on pain in our intern meeting this afternoon. Enough said on that unless you want me to cry. 

What I learned today is just how tender one's heart can be and how our Daddy picks us up and holds us in His big arms. Knowing we can rest there and be at peace. I can never get enough of that. 

What is your lens telling you?

There is time and then there is “Bethel” time. I heard this when I first came to school and it didn’t take me long to realize what that meant. Very little starts on time at Bethel and I use to get frustrated about it. Being on time meant being reliable, accountable and honoring to the person or event you are scheduled to be at. God has taught me a lot about this and although being punctual is a good thing, it also can be an issue too.

There are times you have to let go of the smaller stuff and see the whole picture. I have been so blessed by Bethel. I have learned to serve and learned to lead in a whole new way. God has honored my faithfulness to those things I have put my hand and my heart to. As the saying goes, don’t sweat the small stuff; it’s just not worth it.

In our intern meeting today Jason was teaching about “rebuilding the lens” and although this could mean many things, today I applied it to seeing what I was receiving from school and not why isn’t this that way or this way. Etc…

What is your lens telling you?

To purposefully set the presence of the day.

                     To Purposefully Set the Presence of the Day

I am learning to take each morning as I wake up and set the day to purposefully be in His presence. You see there is a difference setting the presence of the day. Today was important to set the presence before the day even began.

Meeting some of the revival group girls one on one, then school began. There is always homework to read and enter into the computers, books to be given out and many hugs to fill up anyone’s love tank. All the interns are together today in the Great room. We only get two days where we are all together and have a place of belonging so to speak.

As I sat at the table I felt a sensation come over me. Not one I was comfortable with and I knew where it was coming from. Last year October 17, 2010, I lost two family members to murder/suicide. I recalled last year being one of the hardest days of my life because the last words I had with my stepsister were out of anger. I couldn’t take it back, but I was able to give it to God.  I didn’t know how to get through school because guilt was eating me up.

Today was victory because I purposefully set myself to not live in guilt and regret. To know how God sees me, and where I stand with Him. So when a friend wrapped her arms around me and asked me to ask the Holy Spirit where my stepsister was and how was she doing, I knew all was well, because He said so.

Are there still tears? Of course. But she would tell me to get over it, what’s done is done. She always knew how to live in the moment.

Thank you Father for always knowing what I need.  Today was a good day!

First Year BSSM Internship...10/16/11

October 16^th, 2011

First Year Bethel School of the Supernatural Ministry Internship

Wow that is a mouthful! This is how it feels also on a daily basis. The first month I was so excited but it didn’t take long for me to feel overwhelmed. I am learning a lot through this experience so I decided since I feel the nudging of Christ to blog more, okay maybe not nudging, actually right out telling me He wants me to write more, then I shall do so.

I am very critical of my writing but this is a time of being vulnerable and honest about how I feel, my fears, my successes, my failures, what I am learning and how I am growing as an intern for Revival Group Pastor Marlene Aaronson.

I have said before I was going to write on a regular basis so as the saying goes, “try, try, try again” goes, here we go again.  I hope you follow and I would love your feedback. Maybe I will have more than 2 followers by the time this is done. My goal is to write daily till the end of school, May 2012.

 ibssm.org